The Essence of Who I Am

In honor of Valentine's Day, I thought I'd share me and Kevin's story. I didn't know Kevin in high school but I did know of him. When he was a senior, I was just a sophmore. All I really remember about him in highschool was his orange school bag. lol. Close to the end of his senior year he started coming to church occasionally, and by the time I was a senior he was a regular. It wasn't until I turned 16 and was promoted to the senior high Sunday school class that I begin to know more about him. Soon after, I found out he liked me and I wanted no part in that. I was just a shy teenage girl who cared more about my grades than I did boys. However, I did want him as a friend. And when my brother said he couldn't come to my graduation, guess who came in his place - Kevin. He came bearing many gifts, one including a huge bear. It looked like one of those animal rugs. I loved it. (Thanks Moria for helping him out!) I think I was 18 when he finally asked me out. We wer...

Lately, I've been thinking alot about my brother. Monday is his birthday. He would be turning 30. It's hard to believe that its been 6 years and 5 months since he was murdered. As time goes by, the memory remains but the pain begins to lessen. Maybe the pain doesn't completely go away, but it gets smaller and sometimes you forget about it. And then you may be driving or doing something, and all of a sudden it hits you. The memories flood out. I think about all the missed memories - memories I won't have of him. Him at my college graduation, him at my wedding, or even him celebrating his 30th birthday. He spent 23 years and 7 months on this earth. That's too short. I remember praying for him every time I knelt down to pray. I definitely had a burden for him. One night he called for my mom to pick him up, he had overdosed. I remember praying hard for him to be okay as he shook and kept repeating how scared he was. He was fine the next day. I realized how close he was ...