Some reason, lately I've been thinking about my friend Sam (I don't want to use his real name so Sam it is). He committed suicide a few years ago.
We rode the same bus in kindergarten, walked to school together in elementary, played with the same neighborhood kids. He would harass me like all boys do girls . . . you know like chase me and pull my hair. Eventually my family moved away but we would still see other when I was at my grandparents' house. He still hung out with my cousin and we talked when he would come over. He was a childhood friend.
Then my brother was murdered. Alot of friends and family came over for support including Sam, but he never once looked at me or told me hi or anything at all. I thought that was odd but later understood.
Sam was there when my brother was murdered. It was my brother, him, and the murderer that night. He knew my brother was dead and where his body was way before the cops discovered his body.
He became a witness when the trial began and a few days later he killed himself.
We would see him in the court house, occasionally make eye contact, even rode in the same elevator. We didn't hate him or try not to be in the same room. Sure I was upset but never once did I hold hatred for him in my heart. But neither did I tell him that.
Sometimes I find myself thinking what if. What if I would have talked to him after he testified. What if I had made it a point to tell him that I forgave him and that God could forgive him if he asked. What if I would have shared God's love with him.
He didn't kill my brother, but I'm sure he felt guilty knowing that he could've went to the cops or done something different but didn't. He probably had alot of what ifs too.
There's nothing I can do now but think about what I could've said but didn't. I can't go back but what I can do is make sure it doesn't happen again.
Don't wait till tomorrow to share God's love and forgiveness . . . do it today.
We rode the same bus in kindergarten, walked to school together in elementary, played with the same neighborhood kids. He would harass me like all boys do girls . . . you know like chase me and pull my hair. Eventually my family moved away but we would still see other when I was at my grandparents' house. He still hung out with my cousin and we talked when he would come over. He was a childhood friend.
Then my brother was murdered. Alot of friends and family came over for support including Sam, but he never once looked at me or told me hi or anything at all. I thought that was odd but later understood.
Sam was there when my brother was murdered. It was my brother, him, and the murderer that night. He knew my brother was dead and where his body was way before the cops discovered his body.
He became a witness when the trial began and a few days later he killed himself.
We would see him in the court house, occasionally make eye contact, even rode in the same elevator. We didn't hate him or try not to be in the same room. Sure I was upset but never once did I hold hatred for him in my heart. But neither did I tell him that.
Sometimes I find myself thinking what if. What if I would have talked to him after he testified. What if I had made it a point to tell him that I forgave him and that God could forgive him if he asked. What if I would have shared God's love with him.
He didn't kill my brother, but I'm sure he felt guilty knowing that he could've went to the cops or done something different but didn't. He probably had alot of what ifs too.
There's nothing I can do now but think about what I could've said but didn't. I can't go back but what I can do is make sure it doesn't happen again.
Don't wait till tomorrow to share God's love and forgiveness . . . do it today.
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