The Essence of Who I Am

    During this last hurricane season, we were without electricity for almost five days. That first night was exciting. The kiddos couldn't wait to use their flashlights. We ate and played games by candlelight, and while it was all fun and games that first night, it began to grow old by the next. By habit, we would enter a room and our hands would automatically go to the light switch. Nothing would come on and then we would remember that there was no electricity. Each night, we would sit in our cars so we could charge our phones and other electronics. All of our lights, appliances, and chargers were useless without electricity. They were all plugged into an outlet, but there was no power source.      In our walk with God, the Holy Ghost is our power source! Acts 1:8 says, "But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you..." The same power that rose Jesus from the grave living inside of you! Before Jesus a...

     The garden of Gethsemane. Jesus, knowing it is almost time to complete the task He was born to do,  takes Peter, John, and James with Him to pray. His heart is breaking and is full of sorrow. As flesh, He begins to pray, "O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt." When He returns to His disciples, they are asleep. During His entire ministry, He has been giving them clues about what is impending, yet they sleep. Don't they know that life as they know it is about to change? How can they sleep at a time Jesus needs them the most? Why can't they stay awake and pray? Two more times, Jesus prays the same prayer and returns to find His disciples fast asleep. This last time, however, He tells them to sleep on. He no longer needs their prayers. His time has come. As He is speaking, Judas, one of His own, arrives with a crowd sent by the chief priests and elders. He betrays Him with a ...

2 Samuel 18:32-33          "And the king said unto Cushi, is the young man Absalom safe? And Cushi answered, The enemies of my lord the king, and all that rise against thee to do thee hurt, be as that young man is.  And the king was much moved, and went up to the chamber over the gate, and wept: and as he went, thus he said, O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! would God I had died for thee, O Absalom, my son, my son!"      Absalom, David's third son, was praised for his beauty. He had long, beautiful, heavy hair that he would cut every year and weigh. Outwardly, he was beautiful. He had no blemishes. He was the perfect specimen of a man. Inwardly, however, was a different story. He harbored hatred after his half brother, Amnon, dishonored his sister, Tamar, and carefully planned Amnon's demise - when Absalom gave the signal, Amnon was openly murdered by the servants. After the revenge, Absalom ran away and was gone for three years. Duri...

      I never fully understood how much my mother loved me until I became a mother myself. I love every moment of being Dylan and Addy's mom and I couldn't imagine my life without them. They bring so much joy and laughter, but let's be honest, it's not always sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes it's hard. Some nights I lie awake feeling like a failure; other nights I go to bed thinking "I've got this." I want so much for my children! I want to nurture and protect them. I want to help them reach their full potential. I want to encourage them to become the individuals God has created them to be. I would move mountains for them if I could. If they could only grasp how much I love them!       Motherhood, for me, has been a learning process, and believe me, I'm still learning. I have the Bible as my instruction manual but I've also been blessed to be surrounded by godly mothers that I can learn from, including my own mother. I am so thankful for...

  Is it just me, or is anyone else tired of cancel culture? Politicians, celebrities, CEOs, and businesses are being “canceled” because they do or say something considered objectionable or offensive - and everything seems to be offensive these days.  No one can have a different opinion than you.  There is no agreeing to  disagree  anymore.  Instead,  we cut them out completely. We c ancel them.  Don’t like who the CEO of a certain company voted for? Cancel the company. She has a different opinion than you do? Cancel her. Found something in his distant past that you don’t like? Cancel him.   Before we know it, we may even find OURSELVES being “canceled". As disciples of Jesus, our beliefs, actions, and lifestyles are going to be contrary to what's popular.  I  don't  want to identify with this world and what's popular. I  don't  want to blend in and be conformed. Jesus didn't, and the religious authorities hated H...

    A few years ago, I found myself in such a dark place mentally and spiritually. I felt like a failure. I couldn't measure up to what and who I was supposed to be. I truly thought that my husband and children would be better off without me. I felt like I was more of a hindrance to my husband's ministry than a blessing. I also felt like I was doing everything wrong and "messing up" my children. I remember silently crying myself to sleep at night feeling so defeated, but I kept it all to myself. Not even my husband knew what I was battling inside my mind.       The devil had filled my head with so many lies, and now when I look back, I can't believe I fell for them. I  didn't have a relationship with God. I never took the time to really pray and get to know Him. I prayed at church but not really at home. I had gone without a refilling and renewing of His Spirit for a long time. I was trying to be a good person without the help of th...

      In Matthew 22:35-39, a lawyer comes to Jesus and wants to know what is the greatest commandment. Jesus responds saying, "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself." In this passage, Jesus gives us the order in which we are to love:                                                                                           #1 Love God                                                 ...

     Thirty-six days into the new year, and some of us have most likely already given up on our New Year’s Resolutions. Maybe you’ve cheated on that diet or skipped out on going to the gym. Maybe you forgot to read your Bible or didn’t have time to pray. And maybe, as a result, you can’t get back on track; so you’ve given up. Maybe you weren’t seeing the results quick enough.       Old habits are hard to break, and sometimes we may find ourselves gravitating right back to them. Why? Because it is human nature. It’s not comfortable saying no to ice-cream or having to exercise every night. It’s not comfortable making new friends when you are socially awkward or having to study every night in order to get good grades.      Let’s talk about our spiritual goals and resolutions now. It’s human nature to give up on those too. In Romans 7:15, Paul said, “ For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do ...

      In this day and age, there seems to be  a rise in the number of people claiming to be a Christian. In fact, The Center for the Study of Global Christianity at Gordon Conwell Theological Seminary reported that the number of Christians in the world edged past 2.5 billion in 2019. That is a lot of Christians! However, mixed up in this number, we find individuals who say they are committed to Jesus yet their lifestyles and their actions disagree.     These individuals are treading above the water. They're in the shallow waters, to afraid to go deeper.  To call yourself a Christian means to commit every area of your life to Jesus. It means going all in. It means submerging yourself - descending below the surface. It means going deeper.     But how do you go deeper? How do you get rid of the  floaties? How do you stop treading water and just dive in? How? You start seeking a relationship with God.  #1 Going Deeper in Prayer ...

    I was looking through an old notebook and found this entry dated August 15, 2019. It is still relevant to me today, so I thought I'd share and also add a few thoughts to it. Here goes...     I am not enough. I'm not enough as a mother. I'm not enough as a wife. I'm not enough as a friend.  Substitute any word in the blank and still I am not enough. I've realized that I cannot be the person God created me to be on my own. I am not enough. I need and I must have God at the center of it all. When I try to be the mom, wife, daughter, and person I need to be on my own, I fail.      On my own, without a relationship with Christ, I fail. I never measure up. I make a mess of things. I blow up over something petty. I make the situation worse. But with God at the focus, I can do all things. Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." How can I do all things? Through Christ.  Romans 8:37 "Nay, in all these thin...

        In chapter 4 of the book of Judges we find that a gain a Judge dies and the children of Israel go back to doing evil in the sight of God. The Bible says that everyone did what was right in their own eyes. So God gives them into the hand of King Jabin - the King of Canaan. Sisera was captain of the Canaanite army. He had 900 chariots of iron and op pressed the children of Israel for 20 years. For 20 years they were governed in an unfair and cruel way and prevented from having opportunities and freedom.       Finally they began to cry to God for help. They wanted to be delivered, so God sent a woman named Deborah. Deborah was a wife, a prophetess, and the only recorded female Judge in Israel. The Bible says that the children of Israel would come to her for judgement as she sat under the palm tree. God tells Deborah to tell an Israelite man named Barak to take 10,000 men and go deal with Sisera and his army. Barak tells her tha...

     I can't believe it has been seven years since I last blogged! I created this blog in 2008 and from my very first post all the way to my last post in 2013 I've updated on my marriage, the birth and growth of my babies, lessons I learned dealing with my brother's death, and so on. However, this time around I'd like to write more about my spiritual journey, my growth, the lessons I've learned and am still learning. I hope to edify, encourage, inspire, and strengthen. I hope to give you a glimpse of my heart as I share with you my journey in becoming the person God sees me to be. That being said, I'd like to share my testimony with you.      I was basically raised in the church. I was seven years old when my parents were filled with the Holy Ghost and I received the Holy Ghost a year or two later. I loved the church and had no desire to leave the safety of it.  Satan knew he would never get me to backslide; he would never get me to explore t...